What an epiphany week! I discovered that my fears of 30 years have
come true. My avoidance and
procrastination of creating art was due to a terror that I would find out that
no one wanted it, no one appreciated my art, no one would buy my art. I was afraid that hubby would depend upon my
abilities and sales and I would fail. My
epiphany? I was right! Today, at this moment, no one is buying my
work. I can't help monetarily, and I
feel like a failure, inadequate and less than mediocre in my chosen
profession. Worse, my family is
helpfully telling me to change this, change that - reinforcing the idea that I
am not good enough. Can I go any lower
than this?!!
On the positive side, I have
faced my fears and survived, not intact, but still here. The depression will fade in time. And with the worst behind me, I can possibly
move forward, make some progress and stop fearing the worst. Life isn't easy, but it's better than none at
all. So I need to pick myself up and
sort through all the helpful advice, and throw it all out to find what is in my
heart. What do I want to do? How do I
want to express myself? Should I change
my style (which I am told is 'out')? I
could really use a week alone with my paints to find an answer...
2 comments:
I am so blessed to not have to do art for a livelihood. I am a hobby artist and jewelry maker and I only draw and make what pleases me. I, for one, usually dislike what is "selling like hotcakes", but if making money was my goal, I would most certainly paint what was selling. My style is more realistic, as is yours, but if everyone wants large eyed, Southwestern themed girls...well, that's what I would have to do. Hope this doesn't sound like criticism, as I'm really not about that. It's just sometimes as much as I want to be an "original", if it takes making an assembly line and creating numerous canvases of what sells...well, I say go for it. Try to have fun while you do.
Susan, thank you so much for responding to this! It is so easy to feel alone in the field of art, when you live in the woods, miles from galleries and other artists. You are right, of course. Occasionally I have broken down and done work that I knew the public wanted. I do think that if the economy will recover, all artists will fair better. We are necessary to the soul, but not the body. In my efforts to reach out to other artists, I find they are struggling as well...it is not my battle alone. We will perservere!
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