|3"x3" landscape in acrylic, of Glacier National Park, MT|
HOW MUCH I HAVE GROWN IN MY ART ATITUDE!
This is an excerpt from my art journal 5 years ago. Upon reading it, I realize how far I have come in my confidence.
----"Why do I panic at the thought of finishing a painting? For me, I know the exact moment I was warped for life....my high school art teacher would encourage and instruct me - until I came to the finish of the project. Then she would take my painting away from me and finish it herself. That told me that she was sure I would ruin a painting should I ever finish one. So I never finish a painting without a LOT of panic, double-guessing, and anxiety. I need others to tell me if it is good or not. I feel NEEDY, and worse, I feel like the art is no longer MINE. I have compromised my own feelings and emotions and put in someone else's. How's THAT for self-sabotage?!
At one point, I was so frustrated with my inability to finish a painting that I started using smaller and smaller canvases. I was eventually painting 2"x3" pieces...and still unable to complete them. Worse, if you have ever talked to a miniatures artist, they are much harder to do than the larger one. Great care has to be taken on a small surface to use it properly - composition has to be perfect. Values must be perfect. I had inadvertently painted myself into a corner..."